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Heal by Surrendering

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Secret Ancients’ Diary channeled by Bill – Entry #13

Entry 13 – Thurisaz Reversed & Ansur Reversed

thurisaz reversed

r ansuz reversed



The torn protects and destroys.  Without the answer it destroys.  Turn your face to the answer.


When you run defense for the Thurs, stupid giants, you hedge out the answer from the Aesir.  You are a fellow of the stupid.  For a while you may be a jolly good fellow … for a while.


Raise your hands to the heavens in surrender to the answer.  


No preconception is the field of the answer.  No other protection holds back the answer, stupid one.  


Surrender to the answer, not fencing out the spectrum of possibility.  It is in the field of possibility that you will find the answer.  Allow for other possibilities, but surrender to the answer which is in the field of possibilities.


The inordinate is inordinate and disjuncts from the answer.  The boil blisters until it bursts.  The blood of innocence flows through the brambles.


In that day you, the brambles, are cut down and cast into the fire of desire of the thurs.  
You can protect the solution or burn with the problem.   


Too Simple to be True Healing Therapies Pt. 25

Check previous parts for important information.

Surrender Therapy Pt. 2

continued ..

Do not doubt the simplicity.  Just go there and surrender.  


The second aspect of surrender therapy is change.  



The change in surrender follows acceptance.  The fact that something is not changing is evidence that there has not been acceptance.  Once you accept where you are, then you can get your bearings to set your compass and move on.  


In any change there is then the time of thank you.  The thank you is that in acceptance you have a starting point.   If you are in a boat and it capsizes, you do not just start swimming.  

 capsized boat


You embrace the turned over hull and then you have a place to look and see your direction to swim.  If you just start swimming you may only be moving into deeper water.  Thank you for the boat bottom turned up.  


A friend had a problem with depression for many months.  



She, one night, in depths of depression gave up the fight against it.  She surrendered.  


She said to herself that she must really enjoy the problem because she was hanging on to it.  While thinking about what she enjoyed about depression, the depression slipped away.  With her having surrendered to the depression the condition had no more power over her.  She had taken charge of her feelings and life in that thankful surrender.  


What you resist persists.  First therapeutic step, surrender and accept the situation.  


The chi masters talk about surrender in the art of standing.  One of the things that you do while standing is scan your body for any tight muscles.  The goal is to be totally relaxed.  


I would find a muscle that was tight, and I would get mad at myself for allowing that tight muscle.  As a result, the muscle stayed tight or got worse.  [What you resist persists.] I continued trying and no therapeutic practice or thinking was working for relief.  


I learned from instruction and practice that the answer was surrender.  O.k., the muscle is tight. [surrender – acceptance]  Relaxed is normal.  Then I would think about the normal and the muscle would relax.  [Change]  


That is the essence of surrender therapy.  O.k., this is where I am at. [Thank you] That is where I want to be.  Change.


Are you having thoughts and feelings that are toxic to you?  Do not resist. Surrender.  


There was a man who had a bad divorce, and he felt that the ex had taken him to the cleaners in the settlement.  This was causing him not to be able to enter any, any type, relationship personal or business with women.  He resisted because he knew that was not normal, but the feelings persisted.  


One day he in effect said to himself that that was the way he felt and he was not going to beat himself up over it any more.  [Surrender]  He just decided to be content with just acting normal even if he did not feel normal.  So he just thought about how to act normal.  Very soon he realized that he was not only acting normal, he was feeling normal about women too.  [Change.]


This is something that has been noted with some lower back problems.  Surrender to the current problem and quite trying to get better.  Just walk the most normal that you can.  Then you in surrender therapy change the condition and you quickly recover.  


In qigong when you are doing exercises

 qigong exercise


you do not fight your way through the pain of a movement.    You just accept that there is that pain.  You move that direction until you feel discomfort, and you back off.  You do not try to force through the pain, for that will just cause further injury.  But in moving as normally as you can [and thinking about normal movement] you bring the change to the pain and with it range of motion increases in time to normal.  You have changed with surrendering to the problem not fighting the problem.


Some of the healings that we have noted in other sections have a surrender factor.  The man who used travel to over come the death sentence of the doctors was practicing on one level surrender.  He did not fight the prediction of death.  He just moved on with his bucket list travel.  And the problem had no power over him.   Bro. Smith did the same type surrender when he started his bucket list revivals.  


Do not try to fight your way through life just surrender through life.  
Surrender therapy is too simple to be true, but it is.


Too Simple to be True Healing Therapies Pt. 24

Check previous parts for important information.


Surrender Therapy Pt. 1


When I say surrender, the ego goes berserk.  


But I do not mean giving up.  On the other hand, I am talking about stopping doing.  That being said, there is a necessary time of surrender, quit doing.  This is related to faith therapy.  There is a time to be still, and know that I am god.  There is a time to stop being a human doing and just be a human being.


There are two aspects of surrender therapy that we will cover.


First, the ego says I must do this or that.  Or I need a little more of this.  Maybe, what else can I do?  All of these ideas are invoking masculine energy.  Balance says there must be a feminine energy also.   


This is what I am talking about when I talk about surrender therapy.  You do what you need to do [masculine], and then your wait in surrender of the doing [feminine] and faithfully expect the harvest of what you have sown.  

sowing seeds

When you have done what needs to be done, forget it, i.e., wait on in expectation.  


Cast your bread upon the water and it will return unto you.  If you believe this is true, you will cast your bread and then surrender your doing for the bread to return unto you.  You do not keep on casting your bread upon the water to get it to return.  You surrender to what you have done and then surrender your doing while the bread returns.  

We tend to think if a little is good more is better.  We want instant healing, or we start to think that it is not working.  As a result, we never stop doing something more [masculine].  We never take the time to receive the healing [feminine].  


All this is a manifestation of doubt.  We start to doubt that what we have done is efficacious.  We begin to expect failure unless we do more.  The Bible says let not the one who doubts think that he will receive anything.  


In the runes philosophy they put it this way.  You put yourself in the place where you can receive the gift and then you wait.  


This is the place and demeanor of miracles.  That is, you stop trying to do and surrender to the coming result, you have cast your bread upon the water.  


I heard of a lady who understood this principle.  She developed breast cancer.  She knew a couple of things about cancer.  1) Cancer can not exist in an alkaline environment.  And 2) Cancer needs a lot of sugar.  


The doctor was recommending, chemo, radiation, and surgery.  She decided to do something else.  She started making sure that her body was highly alkaline and stopped ingesting sugars except for that which might naturally be in fruits and vegetables.  


The doctor was beside himself, when she refused the rush into the carcinogenic cancer therapies of modern medicine.  She went home and put herself in a position to receive a healing.  That is what she figured she needed to do.  While maintaining a position to heal, high alkalinity and reduced sugar, she surrendered from there to receive the gift.  


In a month she returned to the doctor and found that the tumors had reduced in size.  The doctor assured her that this was only temporary and she needed what he was offering.   She chose to surrender to what she had done.  She had no doubt that things were going in the right direction.  


Long story short in 90 days the cancer disappeared.  If she had gone the extra mile and taken the carcinogenic treatments, what would have been the outcome?  At best more would not have given her any better results.  But she had to surrender to receive the gift of healing.  


The interesting thing about surrender therapy is that you do not try to accomplish the end.  You are not trying to get your goal, but to get to where your goal will be.  


When I was a young boy on the ranch, I was taught about hunting to feed the family.  One of the keys to a successful hunt is scouting.  I was taught as season was approaching to start noticing where the deer were, where there was a lot of deer signs.  

 deer track

Then I told to go to that area and wait.  It may not happen the first day of waiting, but it would eventually happen.  That is where the deer were.


What was the hunter doing?  He was putting himself in the position to receive the give and surrendering in stillness to the wait.  

deer sign

I had a friend comment to my dad that he did not know how I always saw deer and he did not.  I said, “I do not find deer; they find me.”  I had stopped trying to find deer, while I waited were they would come by.  


A young boy came one day to the ranch to try for some venison.  I told him to go wait in a meadow that was a opening in the cedar breaks not 75 yards from the house.   He explained to me that it was too near the house, too much noise would come from the house.  I told him that I often saw deer there near sundown.  


That place was just too simple for him.  He wanted some place remote and hard to get too.  He thought he should be doing something, walking through the wood and looking.  I said if you harvest in that remote area then you will have to get it out.  


So he sat in the place I told him.  Then in about 30 minutes he walked back to the house and said that he would walk across the hill.  


The vinson in momma’s freezer was getting low.  So, I decided to go to that meadow he had left.  Around sunset, I harvested a good resupply of meat.  I had gone to where the deer were and surrendered my hunting to waiting.  


The hunting was in the scouting, not in the hunt per se.  The harvest was in the surrender.  After I put myself in position, I surrendered the hunt.  


The young boy thought he needed to be doing something [masculine].  He was walking around hunting.  He got nothing.  I knew when it was time to surrender and in surrender came the gift [masculine and feminine].  


So it is with is with healing.  Scout a therapy that puts you in place where healings have been seen.  The do what you need to do to be in that place.  Then surrender.  [Masculine and feminine]


Do not doubt the simplicity.  Just go there and surrender.  
The second aspect of surrender therapy


To be continued …



a performance anxiety

Alternative Ways of Knowing Pt. 12

See previous parts for important information.

Surrender To Know Pt. 2


… continued…

I practice, not as much as I should, a form of qigong type exercise called “just standing”.  I base my new system on the ideas from Felicitas Goodman, runes, and qigong and more.  With that you can open for health, healing, emotional balance, and doors of manifestation all your energy channels by just knowingly standing.  It is tentatively called Texas Standing Spirit Bear [TSSB].  


TSSB is what the Japanese parallel system name says “just standing”.   Some of the masters of this ancient exercise style, in the east, will just stand for hours.    


But do this for five minutes once or twice a day for a few days or a couple of weeks, and you will see amazing things as your energy channels open.  [Warning if you stand for a long time in the wrong way you will perpetuate or exacerbate issues, disease, pain, emotional issues.  How you stand affects the way you are.]


I hope someday to teach TSSB.  I know it will improve health and spirituality.


I am not here giving all the details of TSSB, because we are focused on surrender.  One of the aspects of this new system, maybe the main one, is surrender.   


I was having some issues with standing correctly.  I tried and tried to force myself through into correct posture.  But I found that the problems were not being handled and/or getting worse and causing me more problems.  I understood what I was supposed to do, but I was not getting closer to my goal [ego] of getting there.  I wanted to do it right, yesterday.  




My goal had become the end product and not the journey.  I tried harder and things were going in the wrong direction.  The problem was I was thinking that the goal was to stand correctly.  I needed to change the goal to being in the journey to where I stood correctly.


For example, I noticed that as I tried to reach the goal of standing correctly, my breathing was not correct.  It had in the effort to stand right become shallow.   When you shallow breath, the oxygen that your blood received in the lungs binds to the hemoglobin too tightly and has a hard time releasing into the cells, starving the cells for oxygen.  [There are other issues too.]


In my struggle to stand right I could not breath right even when I realized that I was breathing incorrectly.  I could not do deep breathing.   As I was failing to breath right and in ego struggled with the goal to correct that, I found myself tensing up the diaphragm mussels and mussels in other parts of my body.  My goal of standing correctly was making me worse off.  I did not know what to do.


I was talking to a friend who had been having some depression problems.  



She was elated in her story.  One night in the throes of depression, she just said to herself, “You know I really kind of like feeling this way. Thank you.”   She stopped fighting [ego] the depression and just surrendered to it.  It almost instantly melted away.  


Her goal had been to be depression free.  In surrendering she started looking at what she liked about where she was at.  She dropped the ego control mind, the doing mind, and turned on the being mind in the reality of where she was as opposed to where she wanted to be.  And that made all the difference.


Dr. Wayne Dyer had a saying, “What you resist persists.”




When we finished our phone conversation, I did some TSSB.  I was aware what standing correctly was and that I was not doing it.  I just surrendered.  I thanked my body for pointing that out to me.  


I just surrendered and imagined standing correctly.  I was not egoic fighting my bad posture or trying.  I was just thankfully looking at what it was.  I started being in the now realty of standing, just standing.  I noticed to my surprise that I could and was deep breathing.   Then I started imagining how I would be when I was standing correctly.  The blocks that I had had in moving to a more correct standing session melted away.  


How did I know how to do this?  I stopped trying; I stopped fighting; I surrendered.  I was surrendering to know how to move toward correct standing.  


Am I perfect at this; am I a master.  That is ego thinking.  It is not the point and counter productive to think about it.  


One Oriental master of standing was ask about being a master.  He said, “When I find a man who can stand correctly, I will be his disciple.”   If you want to know, it is not the ego goal.  It is surrender.  Once you learn how to surrender, you do not need to do session standing any more.  You just live in surrender and you will know.  


The act of sex also is an example of knowing through surrender.  Yes, now that the snickering has stopped there is a spiritual knowing part of sex that most miss.  Male and female sex has become an ego fest.


There is a problem called performance anxiety.  

a performance anxiety


When you have it, you do not know how to conquer that problem.  Take a pill?  No there is a spiritual solution of surrender.  You can surrender to know.


This happens mostly with men, but it can also happen with women.  The person is worried that they will not be good at it or that he/she will not satisfy the other person.  That is a goal ego issue that can be solved by surrender.  [Some try so hard that they end up in perversion.]


I heard of a man who was getting married.  He had performance anxiety about the wedding night.  This was back in the 1940’s he was a virgin, and the bride was a widow.   He was worried that he would not be comparatively good enough to satisfy her.  


The proper advice for him was surrender and know.  Dismiss the ego goal and make the goal the journey.  The journey will provide all the knowledge that you need if you just surrender.


What is happening is that the person is goal [ego] focused.  There is a focus on getting it done, whatever part of the act is their particular goal.  Let us say that the woman wants to make sure that the man orgasms, or visa versa.  They are determined to get the job done, for themselves or the other person.  That does not sound romantic, but at its base that is what is going on in the ego mind related to sex.  


However if the person surrenders the ego goal and becomes a human being and not a human doing sex, the journey to the end is so much more filled with the imparting of sacred knowingness.  There can be no performance anxiety.  There is nothing to be anxious about.  It is the beautiful journey that is the goal wherever it may end.  


We are not just talking about foreplay; sometimes foreplay is the egoic goal.  To the contrary, it is you just moving into surrender with total spontaneity and take the time to appreciate the journey.  It is there that you will reach the knowledge of the journey.  There is the place of spiritual sex, the knowingness of surrender.  


When someone loves sex, he is an egotist.  When he surrenders to the journey, he is not a human doing, rather a human being.   


So it can be with all of your life.  
Surrender is an alternative way of knowing.



a horse blinders

Alternative Ways of Knowing Pt. 11

Surrender To Know Pt. 1


We all have this feeling that we need to be in control.  Since we view not being in control as bad [that is egoic thinking], we miss the knowing that can be found in surrender.  Ego says, “I am an adult.”  Remember Jesus said, “Except you become as a little child you shall not enter …”

a jesus with children

The art of just letting go of trying to know and surrendering to knowing is a secret key to enlightenment.  This is often written off by Christians as some eastern navel contemplation.  But it is a Christian principle if they would stop what they already “know” [ego] and surrender to knowing what it says. Consider the passage, “Whoever tries to gain his own life will lose it; whoever loses his life …  will gain it”, which is a quote from Jesus recorded in Matthew 10:39.


Here is an idea to turn a trip, maybe a shopping trip or a full vacation, into a spiritual learning and knowing experience.  It has to do with putting your ego away for awhile.  I got the bases of this idea from Stuart Wilde.


He went to France and rented a car to take a road trip.  

a road trip

He had not set down and mapped out an itinerary.  


[That would have been his ego taking charge of his life.]    He for this journey put his ego in a box.  


When he started out, the car was pointed in a direction.  So, he just drove.  He observed things without any predetermined intent to do this or go there.  Becoming a man being on the open road, he was introduced to many things that he would have never considered and was coming to know things alternatively.  


He was investigating, but he did not have blinders on.

a horse blinders

At the races they often put blinders on horses so they will not be distracted from their goal by things out of where they are headed.   The horse then charges straight down the track.  


We run through life toward our goals, and miss knowing what is right beside us.  We have on our ego binders.  “I got to get there.  I got to get there yesterday.”  We are not looking to see the flowers along the way, much less smell them, know them.   

a flower opening

We will not know the smells that we rush by.  We are ego focused on our goal.  Figuratively, stop and smell the roses, and you will be surprised at what you will come to know.  Drop the ego living life and surrender to what you come across.  


Know that.  Be aware of that because you will not come to know what you can know if you do not surrender your ego.


I, as a boy, always dreamed about being an Olympic archer.  

a olympic archery

Of course, that gives me the ego goal of hitting the bullseye at 30,  50,  70,  and 90 meters.  That was my goal.  Ego blinders up.


While I could see, and move toward that goal,  I could not see what I was missing along the way.  I learned all the scientific technicalities of shooting, psychological and physical.  Although I did not go to the olympics, I did become proficient.  


But what had I learned.  I probably know many things about archery that most do not.  Many even who hunt with modern archery equipment are profoundly ignorant about archery.  Ah, but I am a toxophily.  Most of the modern hunters put on their ego blinders about the goal, which is bringing home the bacon.  They lose archery in technology.  


I was not much better when focusing on the 90 meter bull’s eye goal, even though I learned a lot of technicalities about the sport.  I had the disquietude of ego, the grasping for the goal.  I was not involved in alternative knowing.


As I got older, and hopefully a little more mature, I began to love archery and not the hitting of the mark.  [Yes, I wanted to hit the target.]  I surrendered to archery.  It became not the goal of hitting the target but the experience of archery, the prep, draw, release, anchoring, follow through, i.e., becoming one with the experience.  My accuracy improved when I stopped and smelled the roses.  The shot is an experiential high, whether I hit the bull’s eye or not.  It became a meditative experience.


I later learned about Japanese Kyudo, zen archery.  


It is a path to spiritual enlightenment.  If I can over simplify, when you become one with the bow and target, you come to know oneness.  


You become totally relaxed because you have no goal no ego.  It is not about hitting the bull’s eye.   You are just being in the experience.  You are just one in a life process.  In the midst of doing archery, you cease being a human doing and become a human being.  The ego of goal is gone, and you come to know.  You have surrendered to just being.  You come to know alternatively.
I am far from perfect with this, but so it can be with your walk through life.  Archery here is an allegory for life, a type of Pilgrim’s Progress for life.  Dismiss the ego of a human doing and embrace the surrender of a human being.  You may be going someplace, but do not be doing that because you are just experiencing the journey.  As some put it, “The goal is the journey.”  Surrender to the journey.  


To Be Continued …

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